The Silent Waltz Of Lust Encounters.

Day 56

I can already feel it as I breathe the heavy smoke of the passing cars, as I taste the sour raindrops on my frozen tongue, as I finally arrive, halfhearted, on the bus stage.

I give one quick glance at my watch. 

I missed it. Again. I swear loudly.

It's gonna be one bad day.

I feel it.

Heavy rain.

I swear again.

My mind is not even thinking.

I ran as fast as I can...back to the library.

I'm being very noisy. I feel all eyes on me. I'm embarrassed. But I can't help it. I'm dripping wet. My heavy bags are like large potato bags on my back. I almost stumble on the floor. I know I'm acting like a fool. I smile faintly at the ugly, fat man at the information desk. His eyes are too inquisitive...too creepy. I take one deep breathe and head for the shelves at the far end of the hall. As I walk, I rummage through my bags...
I need to make a call. "Dad, I missed the bus again".
 I throw my cell back into the bag and in an apparently calmer mood, I start scanning through the titles of big, thick books...without knowing what I'm really looking for.
  I yawn. I sneeze. I fear I have a cold. I need a rest. I need a bed. I need some sleep.
I want to be at home. I make two steps. I hit a shelf. I make two more. I hit a man. Apologizes and start walking again.
I stop.
 I look back.
I almost hit somebody else.

But I don't care.
I see the eyes.
I meet your eyes.

It's you.
Again.

Day 37

I've been studying.
Hard.

Daydreaming-about-you.

100 times.

Harder.

From the corner of my eye, I can see you...talking to some Jacob guy. I can't understand what you're saying, you're almost too far away.
But I can guess it.
Jacob is good at only one thing. Party-ing.

I'm sure you're going to that party saturday night.

Both of you exchange money and tickets.

Bingo.

Day 32

My brand new heels are killing me.
In addition I'm feeling cold. Shit. I should have brought some jacket with me.

I shouldn't have come here at all.
"Lame party," I shout to a stranger by the bar.

He looks at me.

 Laughs in my face.
Crazy man. 

"I get it. You're waiting. He doesn't show up. You're upset."

He laughs again.

He's drunk.

I'm mad.

I convince myself.

I need to get away.

Day 21

Semester Two. Hurray.

New classrooms. New teachers. New subjects.

New people.

New You.

My sudden strange love for Biology. Music. And Art.

We have class together.

You sit beside me.

I pretend I'm jolting something down.

Hugo Boss. I love the smell.

I can't even look at your face.

I'm afraid you'll read my inner thoughts...by just one glance.

 

Day 6

I change my clothes.

Cheerleader.

Night.

Exciting game.

I wait. Ridiculously with pom-poms in my hands.

Finally. You came. You wave.

Dizzy-ness. Abnormal state in my brains.

I wave back.

Day 1

I find one small envelope attached to my locker.

Inside...a pink sticky note.

Heart-shaped. 

 "Meet me tonight. The Grill. 7pm. Don't be late."

Day 0.

I'm ready. I'm shaking. I'm happy.

I enter.

The Grill.

The cellphone.

It rings.

"I'm by the bar".

I notice the leather jacket.

The broad shoulders. 

The dark black eyes.

The vision of you.

I smile.